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it's all shits and giggles 'till someone fucking ruins it
Happy baby! :)
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» time 2 days ago   
» time 3 days ago   » notes 129559
1,937,074 plays
» time 1 week ago   » notes 483713



english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity

everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do

» time 1 week ago   » notes 134554


Take note: this is how to properly disarm someone. Always go to the outside of the arm, not the inside.

ah yes I have been doing it wrong the whole time it seems cowering in fear was not the first step
» time 1 week ago   » notes 337389
Hes been asleep since 8pm last night, he woke up at 6, drank a bottle and back to sleep again. Lovely quiet morning :)
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» time 1 week ago   
Anonymous sent: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?





Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.


Oh snap



» time 1 week ago   » notes 212649


At this point aliens are gonna show up and fix everything before the government does

» time 2 weeks ago   » notes 7948
society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
woman: okay.
society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
woman: still seems pretty awful.
society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
society: what third option?
woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.
» time 2 weeks ago   » notes 322938

this is literally mario kart
» time 2 weeks ago   » notes 243365